Don't be a ninny.

That is indeed what I am telling myself: don’t be a ninny, Courtney.

“A ninny…” you ask? Let me explain.

New Girl is a favorite show of mine, and in a delightful episode titled, “Menzies,” Nick tells jess she needs to stop “being a ninny.” Jess has lost her job and calling her a ninny is Nick’s way of pushing her to stop making excuses, to stop being scared, and to believe in herself again. (In his own weird and wonderful Nick-sort of way.)

Unlike Jess, I wasn’t let go - I have struck out on my own. And it’s scary.

When I graduated with my degree, I immediately sought work outside of the arts because I wanted a stable income. (Not joking.) And despite the many times I tried the side hustle thing, it never worked for me. I couldn’t find the motivation or the energy.

But now I have no excuses and no time for insecurities. I have the opportunity to indulge myself in my own art with no deadline. I am rotten. Few creatives are allowed such comforts.

I cannot be wasteful. I cannot be a ninny.

So, here goes…

* P.S. click here to watch when Jess’s emotions get the best of her in the aforementioned episode…it’s hilarious.